Posts tagged steps
5 Steps To Dealing With Negative People

All of us either have to deal with negative people all the time, or we are a negative person. One of the aspects of being the best version of yourself is knowing how to behave in every situation in order to reap maximum benefit from that situation. Most of these lessons I've learned the hard way, though, so I thought they'd be helpful to others.

Photo source:  here

Photo source: here

Cut the energy off as soon as you leave

This is super important for the rest of your day. It doesn't matter if I'm spending 5 minutes or 5 hours with this person, as soon as I leave them I say to myself "I give your energy back to you with peace and love" and push it off of my body. If you don't need the visualization then you can just take a deep breath or whatever. I, however, do need to visualize that negative energy leaving or I carry it with me all day.

Try to stop them from complaining

This is where knowing the difference between complaining and venting really comes in handy. Venting, in my opinion, is when a person is telling a story about something bad that happened to get it out of their system so they can move on, like mini therapy. Complaining is talking about bad things that they either can't change or are unwilling to change. I'll listen to anyone vent, granted I might cut them off if turns into rambling, but everyone has to do it and it doesn't make them a negative person. Complaining is something negative people do, and I do not have the time for that. When I notice complaining I just simply say "what are you going to do about it?". If they say "I don't know", I say "well I can either give you advice or we're moving on to talk about something else". They usually get the point. Since I've set boundaries with the people in my life, including coworkers, they know I don't take bullshit and I won't sit through it, it's just my personality. If you need to set your own boundaries I wrote a post that will walk you through it here.

Be an adult

As an adult you don't HAVE to take anyone's BS. You also cannot be an asshole about it. Finding the sweet spot in the middle takes practice, but you can do it. Adults don't let negative people walk all over them, but they don't just stop doing business with them either. There's a way to talk to them that might not turn them into positive people, but it will at least shut them up. You can tell them to stop complaining as I mentioned above, you can be overly positive when you're around them because attitudes are contagious (although this can be exhausting), you can motivate them to be positive, such as, "that comment isn't going to help us move forward in an efficient way, I'd like to keep comments as positive as possible" for business environments at least. You can use similar language for personal environments. The point is... you're an adult, so act like it. Stop acting like a child who needs to conform and let people walk all over them.


This is slowly becoming my favorite word. When I'm with a negative person I try one of these tactics and make note of the result. Did it work? Great, use it again. Did it not work? Okay, tweak it and try something different. Negative people are seriously my least favorite to be around. I'd rather be with someone who fundamentally disagrees with me on every platform than one who complains and is negative, but agrees with me. However, every person is going to be different, meaning, there is no catch-all for negative people. You gotta use different formulas for each one.

Make sure you're not a negative person

If you're surrounded by negative people, chances are you are one. Misery loves company and I'll say it again, your vibe attracts your tribe. Have a good, positive attitude and you'll be surprised how much good karma is going to come back to you, how many people are going to be more positive around you, and how much happier you'll be in general.

How Badass Bitches Plan Their Super Productive Days in 3 Steps

After reading multiple articles such as "the morning routine of 10 successful women" and the like, I realized that the key to a super productive day is PLANNING. Also this is sort of a part 2 to a previous post I wrote "How to Be a Badass Bitch Who Gets Shit Done" so read that post too!

Step 1: Write Down Your Goals

I highly recommend starting a bullet journal. I wrote a post about how starting a bullet journal can change your life because of how much I believe in it. They are basically just super flexible planners that allow you to organize your thoughts.

But until then just grab a sheet of lined paper and write down all of your goals. I suggest using three pages, have the first page be this month, the next page be this year, and the next page be the next 5-10 years. This is going to help you prioritize how you spend your day.

To give you some examples... written down for my goals for this month are to pay off debt, read 4 books, and exercise every single day. My goals for this year (which will now be 2017) are to write a book, start graduate school and my non profit, and to become fluent in Spanish (I'm already proficient, but I want to be totally FLUENT). And my 5-10 year goals are to flip a house, start 2 more businesses, and run for office.

Everyone is obviously going to have much different goals, but I always find examples to be super helpful when trying something for the first time. So once you have all of your goals written down, you move to step 2.

Step 2: Plan Your Day

Plan your day DOWN TO THE HOUR. Do this however you have to, again I use a bullet journal. I literally list out 12am, 1am, 2am, etc. I mark exactly what I will be doing each hour of the day. Obviously for 12am-5:30am I write that I'm sleeping, but even my morning routine is planned out (although it only takes me an hour so I just write "morning routine").

Scheduling out every hour is where your list of goals comes into play. Do you really think my non-profit is going to build itself? No. I dedicate an hour to it every day. I want to read 4 books a month so I calculate how much time that will take (about 2 hours per day) so I read during my lunch break at work and an hour before I go to sleep. I want to be fluent in Spanish so I dedicate 30 minutes of my day to Duolingo and an hour each weekend to watching Telenovelas.

This is how you accomplish your goals. If you're anything like me, you have all of these ideas of things you want to do, but it makes your brain want to explode when you think about actually accomplishing them. That's because "starting a non-profit" is a HUGE task, but researching similar organizations for an hour as one of the steps to building it is totally doable. By planning out each hour of your day you're making your goals achievable. PLUS you know you have time during your day to it because you have a schedule you can stick to. If you hate routine, then switch up the routine and make a new daily hour schedule every month or so, or make daily variations, whatever you have to do to stay motivated!

Step 3: Make Trackers for your Goals

So you've written down your goals and made a detailed schedule of when you're going to do all of these things, but let's face it... you need actual motivation to do it. This is where trackers come in! There are lots of apps you can use to do this for you, but I'm a creative and I need to write things down for my brain to process what is happening, so again I use my bullet journal.

There are thousands of ideas for trackers on pintrest or with a quick web search. I do my trackers by month. So, for example, I make a tracker that looks like a board game with 30/31 squares for the month to keep me motivated to exercise. Every day that I work out I color in one of the squares. When I reach the end of the month I get a massage or some sort of reward if all of the squares are colored. This actually really works! Especially because there is nobody telling me to work out like if I joined a program or something... I HATE when people tell me what to do. It's just me and my tracker to keep me motivated.

I have trackers for all of my goals, for reading, for learning Spanish, for teaching tricks to my dog, etc. So during my day I'm never just sitting doing something unproductive (and R&R time is productive so don't think I don't relax). I just always know that if I have energy then I have a project that needs my attention.

People always tell me "I love how you just want to do something and you do it". THIS is how I do it. I plan out exactly how I'm going to do it into doable steps, and I plan out my day, and I just freaking do it (insert Nike symbol here).