What is one thing every happy and successful person has in common? They set boundaries. Here’s why you need boundaries and how to implement them in your life.
1. Boundaries prevent you from being taken advantage of
This is extremely important for your happiness. Think to the last time you were taken advantage of. How did it feel? Horrible right? If you set standards for how you allow people to treat you they will respect you more. It’s really difficult to take advantage of a person who does not allow you to take advantage of them (obviously...)
2. Boundaries keep your self esteem high
If you do not allow others to make fun of you or make you feel bad then your self esteem will stay high. When people aren’t taking you for granted you feel better about yourself. Self-respect is going to feed your self esteem and you’ll be thanking me when you’re happy and surrounded by positivity.
3. Boundaries strengthen your personal relationships
If you allow people to walk all over you, you are going to resent them. By clearly defining what you will allow and not allow in your life you’re not setting your relationships up to fail. You cannot expect people to read your mind. If you do not show that you’re hurting then it is not fair to the person hurting you, how could they know? Setting boundaries will allow for trust to be built. Your partner or friends or family can trust that the emotions you’re showing are real.
4. Boundaries prevent abuse
Mental abuse is not always as easy to pinpoint, especially in romantic relationships, as physical abuse. If you have set up boundaries and notice that a person is constantly ignoring them, it is probably a good sign that they need to leave your life. That is a sign of abuse and you will be happier without that negativity, believe me.
How to implement boundaries:
You need to clearly define what boundaries you want to set in your life. Do you want people to know they cannot ask you for money? Perhaps you hate when people talk about dieting around you. Maybe you would prefer if your family stayed in a hotel instead of your home. Write these down and put some real thought into them.
If you’re having trouble use the “list 5 things method“. List 5 things you want people to stop doing to you, such as ignoring you. 5 things to stop saying to you, such as “you always give up”. And 5 things you want people to stop doing around you, such as gossiping about colleagues.
Own it. You have a right to every single boundary you want to set and you need to be confident in each one. If you allow the boundaries to be crossed then you are losing respect and happiness simultaneously.
At first those already crossing your boundaries are going to object. Remember to always stay calm, explain them as simply as possible, be responsible of your emotions, and if you need to compromise you can, as long as it feels right.
P.S. The best part of implementing boundaries is that it will ward off manipulators. Your life will soon only consist of well-meaning relationships.