What To Do and Not To Do When You're Feeling Vulnerable

Everyone goes through periods in their life when they are feeling lonely, depressed, unwanted, unwelcome, and all other vulnerable emotions. It is critically important to know healthy habits to form when you're feeling vulnerable and which of your unhealthy habits you need to stop asap.

Do ponder why you're feeling the way you are

Really sit and take the time to think about why you're feeling vulnerable. Why are you feeling lonely? Why are you feeling depressed? Get down to the root of it. Usually it's not what it appears to be. Yes it seems like you're feeling lonely because you're going through a breakup, but really you're feeling lonely because you lost a part of yourself during that relationship and you're missing that part of you, so the remedy is to find yourself again. Sit inside your head for a while and see if you can figure it out. After all, nobody knows yourself better than you.

Don't participate in activities that give you instant gratification

These include, but are not limited to, shopping, eating (I mean obviously you need to eat, but don't binge or go crazy), promiscuity, expensive grooming, etc. You need more happiness in your life or you wouldn't be feeling so vulnerable, but make sure you are attaining this through slow-and-steady methods. Exercise, join clubs or groups, put effort into your other relationships, etc. Like I said, you need to find yourself again most likely, and activities involving instant gratification will only make you feel more lost and overwhelmed and you'll only lose more parts.

Do consider therapy

Your friends, family, and even I am not qualified to give you unbiased, educated advice about your life. Having a third party help you identify what your feeling is invaluable. I would suggest trying out different therapists until you find one you really click with. You'll be surprised at how much it helps just to have someone to talk to who won't judge you.

don't rely on people to fill the void

The main issue with relying on people when you feel vulnerable is it gives them a lot of power, and if I were you I wouldn't give many people that power. When you're vulnerable you're more susceptible to influences, including bad influences. When your lonely is not the time to run to someone you're not really into just to feel better, because once you do, you'll start associating that person with making you feel better. If there's one thing to keep in mind when you're feeling down it's that drugs, alcohol and people should not be used to make you feel better, but to feel EVEN better.

DO Start A Journal

Start a log of your thoughts and feelings. Maybe use color coding for each emotion, write with blue when you're sad and green when you're lonely. It might help for future use when you feel a vulnerable emotion to go back and see when you were feeling an emotion and why. Plus writing is therapeutic and will help you organize your feelings. Don't underestimate the power of journaling.

Don't talk to everyone about how your feeling

To be straight with you, most people don't want to know about the problems in your life. And many of the ones who seem to will judge you for feeling a particular way or will try to give you unwanted advice on how to solve it without empathizing with the real issue. I hope you have at least one person in your life who will listen without judgement, but if you don't, you definitely need a therapist. Don't give people the power of knowing you're vulnerable if they don't deserve it.

Do start a new project

Pay attention to things you might be drawn to, such as, learning guitar, gardening, restoration, etc. The creative things that you are drawn to are going to help put inspiration back into your life. I wrote a post 6 Reasons Why We Need To Be Inspired that talks about why being inspired is so important. There is also another post I wrote about how to put inspiration into your life: 7 Ways to Become Inspired and Find Your Passion. If you're feeling vulnerable, you're probably feeling uninspired.

Don't be super hard on yourself

Cut yourself some slack. You do not have to be or act a certain way, including society's idea of what it means to be strong. Just because you are feeling doesn't make you weak, in fact, I would argue it makes you strong. You have to be extremely brave to let yourself be vulnerable. Believe me, this is something I struggle with hardcore. As long as you're doing the best you can you should be proud of yourself. If getting out of bed is something you dread, then be proud that you did it. Like I said... it takes guts to face the world everyday.

Do tell yourself you love yourself

This is self explanatory. You need to tell yourself, literally, "I love you", over and over until you believe it. I do this as a mantra to help me fall asleep. It's not conceited, you need to love yourself. For some inspiration there is this great clip of one of my favorite movies you should watch...